" Yes Westvirginia there is a Kwanzaa Klaus"

Man Slanders

DEAR Man Slanders: I be 8 years old. My Latino friend Juan says there don't be no Kwanzaa Klaus.
Please tells me the truth; does there be a Kwanzaa Klaus?

WESTVIRGINIA JONES

7321 S. GREEN ST.

ENGLEWOOD IL.

 

Yes, Westvirginia, there is a Kwanzaa Klaus. He's also known in the black community as Father Kwanzaa because just like our real daddies, if he comes around once a year we lucky. Plus if the white folks can take a pagan sun worship day, the winter solstice and call it Jesus's birthday, then we can make stuff up too. And baby just think about it, what makes mo sense, a big fat white man coming down yo chimney or Kwanzza Klaus coming in yo window? Also child don't forget to bring yo friends on December 26 at 4p.m., we finna meet at the corner of 71st and Halsted and go Kwanzaa Karoling door to door."Over the crack pipes and thru the blows to my baby's daddy's house we finna goes". O child we bout to get our sing on.

 

Dear Man Slanders " Yes Westvirginia there is a Kwanzaa Klaus"

DEAR Man Slanders: I be 8 years old.
My Latino friend Juan says there don't be no Kwanzaa Klaus.
Please tells me the truth; does there be a Kwanzaa Klaus?

WESTVIRGINIA JONES

7321 S. GREEN ST.

ENGLEWOOD IL.

Yes, Westvirginia, there is a Kwanzaa Klaus. If the white folks can take a pagan sun worship day, the winter solstice and call it Jesus's birthday, then we can make stuff up to. And baby just think about it, what makes mo sense, a big fat white man coming down yo chimminy or Kwanzza Klaus coming in yo window? Also child don't forget to bring yo friends on December 26 at 4p.m., we finna meet at the corner of 71st and Halsted and go Kwanzaa Karoling door to door.

Dear Man Slanders Advice Column

Dear Man Slanders, I'm coming out for a few days next month, staying in greektown, should I change my plans? Is it safe?


Oh hell yeah and oh hell naw!